Thursday, July 23, 2009

Helen Ukpabio in Action

This kind of hyper-religiousness is past being ridiculous. This is just sad. I know we all have blind spots that make dismissing other people's reality unfair. Still, it's hard to come to terms with people like Helen and her followers, especially their disconnect from the true cause of their material conditions.

A clip of Helen Ukpabio's preaching taken from the documentary, Nollywood Babylon (check out website here).

Philosophy Not for The Common Man


Voltaire wrote a collection of 73 and, later, 120 articles arranged in alphabetical order called Philosophical Dictionary. He engages issues ranging from freewill to fraud, pretty much his ideas on morality, God, and social justice. I don't know why, but the preface stands out to me. I mean, see the way he's speaking so condescendingly to readers. Since I know that Voltaire is writing in the 1700s, and I'm trying to picture an author today addressing prospective readers in the same manner. I wonder what that says about the evolution of authorial orientation. In other words, how has the way writers think of themselves in relation to their readers changed?


...

It is only really by enlightened people that this book can be read; the ordinary man is not made for such knowledge; philosophy will never be his lot. Those who say that there are truths which must be hidden from the people, need not be alarmed; the people do not read; they work six days of the week, and on the seventh go to the inn. In a word, philosophical works are made only for philosophers, and every honest man must try to be a philosopher, without pluming himself on being one.


This alphabet is extracted from the most estimable works which are not commonly within the reach of the many; and if the author does not always mention the sources of his information, as being well enough known to the learned, he must not be suspected of wishing to take the credit for other people's work, because he himself preserves anonymity, according to this word of the Gospel: "Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth."

Monday, July 13, 2009

Let's Just Say, "Koko Mansion Sucks"

An old report at the Huffington Post (here) compares D'banj's Koko Mansion to Flavor of Love. After watching several episodes of Koko Mansion, I think the comparison is far too gracious 'cause where Koko Mansion is, Flavor of Love is a Spielberg classic. And I'm not referring to production quality.

(let's not even go there: bad sound, awful camera work, and the worse editing job ever for the simple reason that no editing was done. I mean minutes and minutes of downtime where the girls are just staring at the wall.)

I'm talking about conceptually, story wise. Not to mention that (and I know this would shock some people) Flavor Flave is a far more compelling (and lovable, yes lovable) house boss than D'banj.

Check out this video.

(First of all, the task they gave the girls make no sense whatsoever. Something about how to rebrand Nigeria. Are you kidding me. A bunch of chicks are in a house and they are talking about national rebranding? They should be cat-fighting and shit. Oh, in another video, the girls were talking about how they missed the good old days when women used to be virgins before they got married. Seriously, who are they kidding?)

Anyway, a quote from the Benin chic in the video "We Nigerians. Majority of us, we do demons...Outside Nigeria they think Nigeria have a lot of demon people." Ah, my fellow Edo sisters never disappoint in their razzness.

If you're on the run: the Benin chic presentation is between 1:33-3 minutes. Hilarious!


Osundu's First Break at Guernica

The fiction editor of the online magazine, Guernica, where Osundu got one of his first breaks as a writer reflects on Osundu's big win. Tucked within the piece are a few words of encouragement for all you aspiring writers out there.

Guernica is an arts and politics magazine: Website

Guernica Writer EC Osundu Wins The African Booker
by Meakin Armstrong

EC Osondu's story in Guernica, "Waiting," won the so-called African Booker--the Caine Prize for African Writing. Read more about Africa's most prestigious writing award (it comes with a cash award valued at $16,000), in The Guardian or BBC online.

Virtually every news item about EC's award includes a quote from the Caine's chief judge, who declares EC's story to be "a tour de force." Anyone feeling dubious about such praise should just read the first few sentences of the work:

"My name is Orlando Zaki. Orlando is taken from Orlando, Florida, which is what is written on the t-shirt given to me by the Red Cross. Zaki is the name of the town where I was found and from which I was brought to this refugee camp. My friends in the camp are known by the inscriptions written on their t-shirts. Acapulco wears a t-shirt with the inscription, Acapulco. Sexy's t-shirt has the inscription Tell Me I'm Sexy. Paris's t-shirt says See Paris And Die."

EC came to Guernica in the ideal way: over the transom, unsolicited. I didn't know him, nor had I heard of his earlier work (he had already had a strong reputation as a writer, but I was unaware of it). I remember having read some fifty stories that day, hoping to find a fiction piece that I could believe in, and want to share. I was feeling disheartened, because I wanted to find a story from that so-called slush pile. I try to regularly include something from there, because I feel that by accepting something, I'm helping to set the world aright.

Connections and reputation shouldn't matter. But they do. We've all read awful works of fiction in national magazines, from writers who have been living off their past. Or perhaps we've been mystified by the works of some hot young writer whose allure we just can't grasp--and in our despair, we've mused darkly on golden Rolodexes and cynical backroom deals.

Guernica regularly solicits fiction from writers of reputation--of course we do. That's a given, and we intend to keep on doing that. But as the fiction editor, I strongly feel that the talented unknown should--no, must--be found. I don't believe in that phrase, "Talent will out." Talent can wither, and in despair, even die. I've seen too many people give up on their art, because they were never given a chance.

On the nonfiction side of Guernica, we're known for our small-d democratic values. We tend to write about such things as the infringement on human rights, or maybe we interview that activist you haven't heard of, who is nonetheless doing vital work. If I operate on the fiction side without taking into account those in-bred Guernica values I'm letting everyone down. (Here, I have to add--we're not looking for political fiction in the obvious sense. Read "Waiting"--it's political, albeit in a refracted way. It's also "international." That's what we want.)

Also, I must add that I've been rejected. Lord knows, my fiction has been rejected. Insulted, even: "Meakin, I just don't think you've a future as a writer," some magazine wrote to me, years ago. The magazine went out of business. Turns out they didn't have a future (here, I snicker).

So please celebrate with Guernica: EC Osondu's story, "Waiting" won a major award. EC didn't know anyone on our staff. No one bullied us into accepting it. No back room deals were made. It was a straightforward transaction: I read it, loved it, and wanted to share it with you.

--Meakin Armstrong

Meakin Armstrong is Guernica's Fiction Editor.

Women in Art

Women in Art

Friday, July 10, 2009

Asa on CNN Inside Africa

ASA on CNN Inside Africa - US Tour from NJO on Vimeo.

Kelani's Arugba: The last Scene

The final scene in Kelani's latest movie, Arugba

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Lilac Vial


The Lilac Vial

By Lost

I was surprised to hear my pastor say the other day that mermaids (or what I like to call Mammy Water and what he prefers to call Queens of the Coast) are mean. He clearly has never met a mermaid before—a sad soul obsessed with powers of darkness as he is.

Mermaids are creatures that love the sun and crave the smooth softness of water. Their fingers can send ripples through the river that, touching a girl, can make her fall in love. Mermaids are slimy and can never be caught. The slightest touch of their fins on your skin and your eyes harden into a very rare kind of emerald that makes you see the world as an enchanted place. Mermaids can sometimes transform into eels, but no eel can become a mermaid.

I saw a mermaid once. When she saw me watching her, she ran away into the middle of the muddy river but came back with three other mermaids that looked like her sisters. They sang songs of love, forgotten and regained, with voices too sweet to describe. When the birds joined them, I thought my heart would flutter away with my soul. The songs still ring in my ear even though I cannot sing them to you. They danced with a grace and beauty so delicate and yet so complex.

The more they danced, the more the dirt that made the river cloudy disappeared. I had never seen the river so blue and so pure. The night before, an unusual occurrence it was to see rain pouring monstrously from the clear and starry Harmattan sky. The rain washed away the copper-red dust for which Benin City is known. It ferried dust, dirt, and crud off streets, trees, roads and gullies and dumped them in the river. I remember sighing when I arrived at the banks before sunrise to capture frogs for my Introductory Anatomy class. Tip-toeing between globs of mud, I looked in vain through the turbid water for frogs. Even though I could hear their frightened croaks, I could not see them.

I cannot remember how long the mermaids danced, but by the time the morning sun came out to join the celebration, the water had gold shimmers. The river had become a bowl of greenish-blue liquid crystals, quivering in sheer delight at the touch of the mermaids' gyrating bodies.

Most of all, the mermaids were happy, skipping about in a world they had transformed by sheer joy into a garden. I found that even the trees swayed in childish excitement. The wind was perfumed and silky, chortling loudly and swirling around everything that caught its fancy. Grasses smiled a deep-green. Butterflies flapped in ecstasy, rousing moths, their nocturnal siblings dazed in deep sleep. The river bank on which I stood was a marble terrace, but jelly-like in texture. Around my feet, earth worms, caterpillars, bumble bees, and flowers laughed until tears fell from their eyes. I dare say I could not bring myself to capture frogs that made me chuckle by doing cartwheels on crystal-colored water. It was Eden.

Overwhelmed with surprised and half-sad that whatever it was that was unfolding before my eyes cannot last, I asked the first mermaid her name. It seemed for a brief moment that she was going to tell me. She did not. Her companions covered her mouth with their perfectly shaped hands, dripping with water, and off they went into the abyss of paradise where they dwelt beneath the river.

In an instant, everything returned to its former state: swampy river bank, coke bottles, FAN ice cream and pure water sachets, the awful smell from the catfish mud pits, my legs ankle-deep in marshy soil with decomposed twigs and God knows what else.

The mermaid paradise had, at last, been lost except for a drop of the crystal water caught in the air, the last to fall back down into the pit of mermaid heaven. I do not know what will-power propelled me, but I dived in the river and caught the droplet at the nick of time in my cupped hands.

There it is in that ornate vial you see on the dresser. You asked whether the vial is stained lilac. It is not. The color you see is one of the many strange moods of the enchanted droplet. As the day progresses, it changes its colors according to the many shades of the rainbow. That is why I expressed to you, earlier, my surmise that in the world beneath the sea, mermaids tell the time of day by color and not by a ticking machine.

Photo Courtesy: La12lasp

Monday, June 15, 2009

Femi Kuti - Eh Oh - Bonnaroo Audio track


You're probably not the only one that get the feeling that mainstream hip hop like mainstream rock is pretty much spent. Jay Z is an old man and T. Payne's music is just not smart.

Maybe that's why industry stakeholders and musicians alike are looking elsewhere for fresh new sounds. And if this year's Bonnaroo music festival is anything to go by, Africa might just be one of such places.

Sunny Ade, Toumani Diabate, Femi Kuti, Amadou and Mariam, and Vieux Farka Toure performed at a festival that headlined Phish and Bruce Springsteen and feature other big names like Beastie Boys, Nine Inch Nail, and Erykah Badu.

Audio Track of Femi's live performance of "Eh Oh" here

"Bonnaroo Festival Gives Stage To African Artists" here

Femi Goes Crazy With Brett Dennen

Femi features in this quirky but catchy song and video about going crazy. With chubby and red-haired Brett Dennen


MAKE YOU CRAZY